I have been out of the blog world for weeks and since my last blog entry about the worst flood that we’ve ever experience in area, so much have happened that I want to share with you but I just do not where to start…Oh, I think I better start with the most recent one and that was being able to go through the 2 weeks rigid training for me to be included in the pool of auditors for international organizations.
To give you a little background before I go any further, the term of the Philippines as the external auditor of the Food and Agriculture Organization of the United Nations has been extended by another two years and the Philippines will also assume office as the external auditor of the World Health Organization for the financial periods 2012-2015. Given the fact that the Commission on Audit (COA) is the supreme audit institution in the country, the auditors that will be deployed to audit these international organizations will, of course, be coming from COA.
It was last August when I learned that there was a need to increase the number of qualified auditors in the pool of auditors for international organizations. Admittedly, being one of the UN Auditors, as we call them, has been my dream since I joined the Commission sometime in 2000. It is not only an opportunity to go out of the country for free but it will also mean going out of the country holding a diplomatic passport. Indeed it will be such an honor to be among those few who will have the chance to represent the country.
So I did apply and about 364 applicants took the qualifying exam last September. I must say that the qualifying exam was more difficult than the CPA board exam. About 2 weeks later, I learned that I was among the 62 applicants who successfully passed the qualifying exam and were to take the IT proficiency exam and go through the panel interview the following week. It was indeed a very stressful process, particularly the panel interview. I was so nervous during my interview that I couldn’t even answer a very simple question properly. I was not really expecting to pass the interview so you can just imagine how happy I was when I learned that I was included among the 50 applicant who would undergo the training for the audit of international organizations and was lucky to be included in the 1st batch who went trough the 2 weeks training which concluded only last Friday.
The training was nothing that I ever imagined…It was the most stressful 2 weeks of my life. I really had an information overload considering that I had to understand and grasp everything in only 11 days…not to mention that daily exams and the final exam that we had. It was really a mixture of physical, emotional and mental stress that I was so relieved when the training was finally over. I must confess that there were some unpleasant attitudes that I have observed (unpleasant based on my own personal standards) which made me so close to backing out, but my husband kept on encouraging and telling me that I shouldn’t give up because I have already went that far. Indeed, many have applied but I was one of the very few who had the opportunity to undergo the training so I still tried to do my best despite the negative emotions that I was feeling at the time. Honestly, those negative feelings that I was having affected my performance during the training and no matter how hard I tried, I just couldn’t find the motivation to go on.
Now as I look back at our 2 weeks training, I wonder if it’s worth pursuing the dream. Yes, it will definitely be an honor to go out there and being among those who will represent the country, but will I be able to give my best when all that I have been hearing from the person who was supposed to give inspirational talks were words of disappointment, doubt and uncertainty? I truly am having doubts now… For 11 years, I have been so used to working with people who are very supportive and it makes me wonder now if his words of discouragement were just his way of challenging us to give our best.
At this point, I can say is that I have done what I had to do given the situation that I was in and despite my lack of motivation. I now lift everything up to God and pray that He will give me what is best for me and I will gladly abide His will knowing that He won’t give me anything that I couldn’t handle.
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